Regarding Skyrim: By Redentor Publications
by Redentor
Summary: A conversation between myself and a close friend while I played Skyrim. Leads to some interesting dialogue.


Well I just got off The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim, after playing for I don't know how many hours. In the middle of it however my good friend Darren aka Killfest messaged me from holidays in England and we struck up a conversation while I played. Long story short, I took one look at the conversation I had and a thought struck me. This is a perfect way to introduce you to the Redentor Publications Team. I'll post the entire exchange and you can make whatever you want out of it. Sounds good right? Well here it is; the grand reveal of what the Redentor Publications team does while we're on holidays.

Master of the galaxy: hey

TheSadist: Wazzup Darren! How's it going?

Master of the galaxy: good, did you get the sword?

TheSadist: No not yet :-) I'M WORKING IN SOLITUDE THOUGH, GETTING THE THANE TITLE. WON'T BE LONG NOW.

TheSadist: Sorry caps

Master of the galaxy: I want the house in Solitude

TheSadist: Never had it. I think the house in Windhelm is hard to beat though :-)

Master of the galaxy: never saw it

TheSadist: Hjerim. You can get it after you catch the murderur

TheSadist: sorry, murderer*

Master of the galaxy: the butcher?

TheSadist: Yeah, it's the same one he was using for evil necro experiments

Master of the galaxy: how much is that house?

TheSadist: 10,000 not including decorations

Master of the galaxy: the one in solitude is 25000

TheSadist: bloody hell, that's an arm and a half and no mistake

Master of the galaxy: I've nearly 7000

TheSadist: gold? Man I don't even know how much I have...wait a second

TheSadist: 187630

TheSadist: I need to get a job :-)

Master of the galaxy: can you loan me some

TheSadist: I here there is a mod coming out soon. Skyrim Online or the elder scrolls online :-) I might actually be able too soon.

Master of the galaxy: I thought that was a full blown game anyway dawngaurd be out soon for it

TheSadist: The expansion? The vampire thing...I don't think I'll get that :-) Well if it's free maybe but not otherwise.

Master of the galaxy: I'm gonna get it but costs 1600 points on Xbox roughly 18 quid

TheSadist: 18? Well I have that much in cash in my drawers right now :-) Wish you could get it at the local GameStop, and then I'd be sorted.

Master of the galaxy: problem is have to dawnload it

TheSadist: dawnload :-) I see what you did there :-)

Master of the galaxy: funny thing is I didn't realise I did it

TheSadist: I know mate, I know :-)

Master of the galaxy: what level you now?

TheSadist: 67

Master of the galaxy: I'm only 23

TheSadist: that's because you still sleep

Master of the galaxy: how quickly can you kill a normal dragon?

TheSadist: bloody hell this house has three stories!

TheSadist: nice tip there mate

TheSadist: Normal dragons? Less than thirty seconds most of the time.

Master of the galaxy: normal dragons I can kill them within one landing did you get the wabberjack?

TheSadist: Sheogorath's nut job weapon? Yeah I got that. Have you run into the crazy woman who wants you to use it on her?

Master of the galaxy: no

TheSadist: It's funny, give it a try.

Master of the galaxy: what she turn into on yours?

TheSadist: I don't carry the staff around with me. First time I used it outside of Sheogoraths quest, I got an Ancient Dragon.

Master of the galaxy: get a soul from it?

TheSadist: Ahh yes :-) No different from normal souls. Their just a lot harder to kill.

Master of the galaxy: just wondering 'bout souls cause of well transforming someone into one

TheSadist: Mmmm...I didn't think of it that way. Getting back to my never sleeping, I got goaded into writing a sexually explicit fan fiction story for a bunch of people on

TheSadist: And I am now stuck with the obligation :-)

Master of the galaxy: involve alcohol

TheSadist: Believe me, I have :-)

Master of the galaxy: and a box of heroes

TheSadist: BOX OF HEROES? My god if that is what I think it is it has possibilities

Master of the galaxy: what you think it is?

TheSadist: ttle heroes inside it :-l

TheSadist: sorry my keyboards fucking up again. A box with tiny little heroes inside it.

Master of the galaxy: I meant chocolates but if that works roll with it

TheSadist: lol you kill me mate you really do :-)

Master of the galaxy: really because I was thinking of it

TheSadist: Tiny little heroes or killing me? Never mind I think I can guess the answer to that one.

Master of the galaxy: I bet you could but would you guess right?

TheSadist: Well if I guess out loud you'll change it so that I'm always wrong. So I guess we're at an impasse :-)

Master of the galaxy: I see your logic and we agree on your decision

TheSadist: We? You're speaking in the third person now :-) Lol I'm working on the story, and we're (Killfest and Sadist) about to mug some guy. What do you think should happen?

Master of the galaxy: inside a building or outside?

TheSadist: Usually mugging Dark alleyway sort of deal but outside yes

Master of the galaxy: can I throw him through a wall instead of up against it?

TheSadist: ...That could be a good gag. Accidentally throwing someone through a wall. It'd be a good way to introduce your characters strength too.

Master of the galaxy: make me seemed surprised

TheSadist: HOLY SHIT! I just got one of the dragon killcams.

Master of the galaxy: dragon bit your head?

TheSadist: No, do you really think any dragon is killing me at my level? I ran into two at once whilst attacking a high elf mage and I cheesed it like a pro :-) I jumped on its head and cut the fucking thing to shreds!

Master of the galaxy: while that's a nice image

Master of the galaxy: I ran into a guy with my ebony blade first hit killcam what happened was first hit, duck, hit leg, hit 2 in the neck

TheSadist: Lol nice. Never seen that one though, I'll have to go hunting for it...or check YouTube for the killcams.

Master of the galaxy: needs to be two handed weapon I believe

TheSadist: cool, I'll train up on that and give it a go

Master of the galaxy: my two handed is now 43

TheSadist: I use one handed dual wield or shield with a bow secondary atm

TheSadist: most of the skills I use all the time are 100 by now :-)

Master of the galaxy: what bow?

TheSadist: ebony bow that I enchanted myself. Soul trap. I called it Bow of the Sadist.

Master of the galaxy: are you good enough to kill a rabbit with it?

TheSadist: Yeah, I have this cool run and jump animation that I do with a sprinting power attack.

TheSadist: Also when I hold up my shield and sprint I knock people flying

Master of the galaxy: my bow is grougle blackbow or something like that but dad prefers his 12 bore

TheSadist: lol, I love it!

TheSadist: I have notice that once you have maxed out the skills you use all the time your levelling slows up to the point wher you only advance when you train or use skill books

TheSadist: where*

Master of the galaxy: I had 3500 gold was paying for skill upgrade and didn't realise the price going up

TheSadist: Lol I know. That caught me out the first time as well

Master of the galaxy: this was my 6th time

TheSadist: Hahahaha, you slay me mate. I did notice a glitch with some of the followers. Like the elf feindal in Riverwood. Get them to train you, then afterwards you can get your money back off them by asking them to follow and then searching their inventory.

Master of the galaxy: I killed him

TheSadist: ...

Master of the galaxy: I killed all of Riverwood apart from the children.

TheSadist: Why?

Master of the galaxy: my ebony bow wanted blood of the innocent

TheSadist: ...Did you ever think that maybe keeping the people alive would be better than killing gratuitously?

Master of the galaxy: yea but they're in a lower place know

TheSadist: lol you're a violent person you know that? :-) I love it!

Master of the galaxy: well in that case you be happy to know half of Whiterun is dead

TheSadist: ...Have you even completed the rest of the story, or have you just fucked up most of the quests in the game? :-)

Master of the galaxy: story characters I believe are fine

TheSadist: you don't think they'll take offense to you killing all the others?

Master of the galaxy: 6375 bounty I was attacked in Riverwood for killing a chicken that's why I killed all of them

TheSadist: Hahahaha same thing happened on my second character! I made her to model the character we run into when we visit Skyrim in the story.

Master of the galaxy: hope it's something interesting

Master of the galaxy: you like my bounty? Hope home in whiterun ain't ransacked

TheSadist: lol I have homes all over the place. Even ones I haven't exactly bought. They'll have a hard time tracking me down if I went Rouge. Might do that if I ever finish all the secondary quests.

Master of the galaxy: I've finished 20 secondary quests

TheSadist: I have no fucking clue how many I've done. Thousands judging from my over one hundred hours of game play

Master of the galaxy: I say I did more just what achievement got last

TheSadist: Ohh the sideways achievement right?

Master of the galaxy: I've about 15 quests on atm that's the one and also got the one for 100 locations

TheSadist: explorer yeah. I got most of them, except for the bards collage and mages. Then I've got the criminal acts ones. Then the all shouts collected then all standing stones found. I think those are all the ones I need

Master of the galaxy: Bards College in solitude

TheSadist: Ohh I have to send you a few pictures of my equipment. I made most of it myself, and its badass

Master of the galaxy: I wear the dark brotherhood armour

TheSadist: You're missing out my friend. Once you've got all the smithing and enchanting trees maxed out you can make some awesome equipment

Master of the galaxy: I'm good good at that however dawnguard offers dragon bone crafting

Master of the galaxy: not good*

TheSadist: lol you can do that in any forge once you max out your smithing tree

TheSadist: lol I have way too much time on my hands

Master of the galaxy: I have too little when guild wars 2 out?

TheSadist: Soon. There was another beta test today that I didn't bother turning up for. By the end of the year it will be out I think

Master of the galaxy: I got a new mouse for it

Master of the galaxy: it has 9 buttons

TheSadist: JESUS! The drauger are coming for me at last. An army! I just got Fus Roh Dah'd by one of the Deathlords

Master of the galaxy: death lords are hordes

TheSadist: FUCK ME! IT'S OLAF ONE EYE! THE DUDE WHO KILLED THE DRAGON NUMINEX!

TheSadist: he just Fus Roh Dah'd me off the podium

Master of the galaxy: be careful talk to ya tomorrow

TheSadist: Cya mate

Master of the galaxy is now Offline.

Sorry for the spelling, but even writers let lose when their multitasking. It was one hell of a battle that one with Olaf. Completed what I assume to be the main Bard's Collage quest, and now I'm moving on to some more outlying villages in search of adventure and riches! But yeah I really need to follow my own advice and get a job Too much time in my hands in a recipe for disaster.

Request what you want the next random shit of the day you want supplied and we'll do our best to get it for you. As always it's Sadist and Killfest signing out.

(Maybe one day I'll get a conversation with Stalker and Bob on here, but until then I bid you farewell!)

May your sword stay bloody,

TheSadist.


End file.
